Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
Updated: Jul 11
Divorce and remarriage is rampant today, the spirit of the age. Men and women live ungodly, selfishly and in adultery, and in the process destroying the lives of their children. It’s an evil and disgusting accepted practice, mostly brought about by pathetic, proud, weak and narcissistic men but it’s the poor children that suffer the most, many of which are filled with hatred towards their parents and the world and God, and then live subsequent destructive lives, many later following in the same footsteps.
“There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.” (Pr 30:12-13)
But God has much to say about it and one day these adulterers and adulteresses will be held accountable for their wickedness:
“the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” (Mal 2:14)
Heb 13:4 warns:
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. The end of the adulterer or adulteress is eternal and unquenchable hell fire:
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, . . . nor adulterers, . . . shall inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor 6:9-10)
Consider what God has to say about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.
1. Marriage is a union and covenant witnessed and ordained by God, whether saved or unsaved, between one man and one woman. “Marriage is honourable in all” (Heb. 13:4). All means ALL. God binds the marriage agreement between one man and one woman, where the two become one flesh (Gen. 2:23-24; 31:50; Mal. 2:14; Pr. 2:17; Ez. 16:8, 32, 38; Jer. 3:14; Matt. 19:6). Through the infinite Wisdom and Divine creation of God made He two of one, so that by marriage He makes one of two (Gen. 2:21-24). Death alone can break this covenant.
2. Since marriage is a covenant, we see its permanence throughout the Bible (Matt. 19:6; Rom. 7:1-4; 1 Cor. 7:10-11).
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Mk 10:9)
3. The Lord Jesus Christ proclaimed from the very beginning that marriage was a “one-flesh" relationship (Matt. 9:3-4; Gen. 2:24).
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24)
The word “one flesh” means the full integration of both persons into an inseparable union. In marriage there is an intimacy shared as with no other, not even with parents or children. This union is so strong that the Scriptures say in Matt. 19:6,
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
In Eph. 5:31-32, this union is a picture (type) of Christ and the church:
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
In marriage, we become one to the extent that we have no more power over our own body:
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (1 Cor 7:4)
4. The marriage bond is a binding covenant in the eyes of God. This one-flesh union is to last as long as both partners are living. In other words, only death is able to separate the relationship:
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” (1 Cor. 7:39)
"Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband." (Rom 7:1-2)
In Pr. 5:15-20 we see that protection from moral temptation is accomplished by the maintenance of a godly home:
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
It is described here in Proverbs as a cistern and a fountain and a river that contains pure water (Pr. 5:16, 18). This fountain of water is pure because it is blessed of God, but it must be jealously guarded so as not to allow it to become contaminated and poisoned. Of course the best possible way to do this is for man to be truly born again, so as to have Gods power dwelling inside by His Spirit and give victory over temptation, since sin has no more dominion over the truly regenerate (Rom 6).
There is a God-ordained hierarchy within the home:
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor. 11:3)
And this is for the reason that
“man . . . is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” (1 Cor. 11:7-9)
The husband must take his job of headship seriously and not neglect his marriage and children. He must love his wife as his own body and nurture her and dwell with her according to knowledge and honour her and not be bitter against her (Eph. 5:26, 2-29; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7).
The wife must take her job seriously, submitting to the husband as unto the Lord and reverencing him and serving him with a meek and quiet spirit, being a discrete, chaste keeper at home (Eph. 5:22, 24, 33; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). Mothers must love their children and train them in the Word of God (2 Tim. 1:5; 3:15; cf. Pr 22:6).
Fathers must bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and not provoke them to anger (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; cf. Pr 22:6). Committing adultery against their mother will have the opposite effect. Children must obey and honour their parents in the Lord (Eph. 6:1-3).
Such a home is a fountain of pure water that protects from the foul waters of immorality and evilness of divorce.
5. Marriage is the covenant law of God.
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” (1 Cor 7:39)
“Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.” (Rom 7:1-2)
1. God hates divorce (Mal. 2:14-16) and that because of its terrible effect on the offspring (children). God also hates divorce because it is He that has joined husband and wife in a covenant and supernaturally made them one flesh (Matt. 19:3-4). Since He created the covenant, only He can break it.
2. Again, “Marriage is honorable in all” (Heb. 13:4) whether the couple is saved or unsaved. According to 1 Pet 3:7, the husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life." Marriage is a divine institution designed for the glory of God and His kingdom and for the furthering of godly seed. Divorce destroys all that.
3. God’s Word is clear that marriage can only be ended by death of one of the mates. Only after the death of a spouse does God give permission for the other mate to remarry (Rom 7:1-3; 1 Cor 7:21-23).
4. As the born again believer is inseparable from Christ like the bride of Christ (the local church) is inseparable from Christ, so is the husband, whom is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church, inseparable from the “wife of thy covenant." (Mal 2:14). Read Eph 5:25-33.
5. God has allowed and continues to allow divorce in only a very specific case (fornication, referring to sexual immorality -- Matt 19:9). But such must still suffer the consequence for making that decision by either remaining alone for the remainder of their life or better, being reconciled back to that spouse through the act of forgiveness.
“But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband:” (1 Cor. 7:11)
The divorcee has ONE of two options: (1) remain unmarried, or, (2) be reconciled back to their spouse. What part of “OR” do people not understand? Gods will is for true repentance and then reconciliation, both of which is glorious in the eyes of God.
Unfortunately many reject Gods command, like they reject much of the remainder of the Bible.
“Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded. The law of the wise is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.” (Pr 13:13-14)
“He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; but he that despiseth his ways shall die.” (Pr 19:16)
The following is excerpted from “No Fault Divorce Ignores Data, Science, and Children,” (BreakPoint, Jan. 24, 2022) which reveals the awfulness of divorce:
“A couple of weeks ago, Dominic Raab, the Deputy Prime Minister for the United Kingdom, praised what he called an ‘important’ debate in Parliament. He was referring to a law effective April 6, under which married couples no longer have to name any faults before seeking a divorce. ... What Mr. Raab and our friends across the Pond should do is look before they leap. A look at the American experience reveals how this so-called ‘freedom’ has played out here, and the enduring scars it’s left upon children. . . . In the early 1970s, an incredible (and incredibly sad) study was launched, which was later published in book form under the title The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. It told some of the tragic stories of these children. Drs. Judith Wallerstein and Julia Lewis interviewed over a hundred children of divorce in California, hoping to get at the real-world impact of divorce on the increasing number of children growing up in broken homes. They didn’t only interview these individuals as children, but also followed them over the next 25 years. What this study found was devastating. As one reviewer described their findings: ‘[O]nly seven of the 131 children from the original sample experienced a post-divorce home in which they had a good relationship with a step-parent. At this 25-year mark, only 60 percent had contracted for marriage. Two-thirds of the sample decided not to have children.’ This story is about far more than stats. It’s about the heartbreaking impact divorce had on these kids’ lives. There’s the woman who almost 30 years later could still see in her mind the details of ‘the sun striking the patterns on the living room carpet’ the day her father left when she was only 4. There’s the boy who refused to take off his heavy coat at school despite the day’s heat in case he’d have to leave at a moment’s notice. There’s the little girl who kept telling her teacher about her new baby brother, except there was no baby, only her little heart’s plea to imagine her parents were still together. Then, there was the 5-year-old who said she needed a new mommy because hers had been ‘a tense, cranky, unavailable stranger.’ There are times when divorce is necessary [Biblically, only when fornication has occurred], but it is always tragic in the same sense as when catastrophic cures like amputation or chemotherapy are necessary. To pretend otherwise is a dangerous fantasy. The Bible sees marriage as a lifelong bond between a man and a woman, but, recognizing the frailty of human nature after the Fall, it allows for divorce in extreme cases, such as . . . adultery”
But it never allows for remarriage, unless the spouse dies and then according to the Lord's will. Thats next...
1. Remarriage is adultery. Continual and ongoing adultery, until such a time the illegitimate and adulterous “marriage“ is broken. Everybody knows it too. This is so basic, such common sense, I fear I’m insulting peoples intelligence in saying the obvious. But people like to excuse their sin and wicked lifestyle or the sin of friends and others, such as members in their church. This is the real tragedy today, supposed churches not even taking a stance against this evil practice. No wonder there is so much heresy and apostasy everywhere and so many false professors. They can't get the most basic and simple family unit right, of which the Bible is perspicuously clear!
“And he [Jesus] saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” (Mk 10:11-12)
That’s pretty clear from the mouth of God the Son. Later Paul reiterates the same:
”So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” (Rom 7:3)
2. Why would it be fully expected of the new born again believer in Jesus Christ to stop stealing, to stop murdering, to stop terrorizing, to stop lying, to stop blaspheming, to stop drinking alcohol, to stop doing drugs, to stop bearing false witness, to stop coveting and be content with what he has, and more — all clear biblical truths, but the adulterer is not expected to stop living in adultery? Everybody’s gotta stop (and rightfully so), but not the adulterer or adulteress. Children have become his or her license to live in sin. No, I am not talking about an unmarried relationship; I am referring to a person living with another’s spouse. I am talking about divorce and remarriage. Did Christ not say:
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:6)
Again, Paul is very clear, I mean crystal clear, as to the prohibition of any remarriage while the spouse yet lives:
“Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” (Rom. 7:1-3)
God doesn’t recognize an adulterous marriage. It’s not living in the same house that makes a person an adulterer or having some kind of paper from the government that "ordains" a marriage. God ordains marriages and those who are remarried while the other spouse yet lives are not married. They are adulterers. It’s sleeping in the same bed and having sexual intimacy (1 Cor 6:16-18) that constitutes adultery. Adultery becomes as such when two are in an intimate relationship. A legal document from the government with wedding vows on it does not constitute adultery (God doesn’t even recognize such a marriage regardless what some foolish government official implies). It is the bed that constitutes adultery. “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” (1 Cor. 6:16). Matthew 2 says that Joseph did not know his wife till after the Lord was born. It is the joining of the flesh that makes “one body” (this joining as both physical and mystical), which constitutes adultery.
The adultery has to stop. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they must move out. The children require parents and they can still be parents, but the bedroom must change! Of course the temptation might be there but faithfulness to Gods Word is required and He gives a way of escape (1 Cor 10:13). Most importantly, the adulterous relationship must come to an end and those who are truly born again understand this and will obey the Word of God because of their love for God.
3. There is a misconception that leaving a second marriage to return to the spouse they originally married, the person they are one flesh with, is divorce. It is certainly not. The alleged second marriage is never recognized at all to be a covenant marriage by God. He didn’t bless that marriage; He blessed only the first marriage, where He makes one flesh between a husband and wife (Gen. 2:27), which can only be broken by death (Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:39). As aforementioned, the Bible is very clear that the separated/ divorced couple have only two options and neither of them is remarriage: remain single or be reconciled to their covenantal spouse of one flesh (Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:39). That’s it. If one of them decides to deny Gods Word and explicit command, and remarry, they are committing adultery, continual adultery (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; Mk. 10:12). They are also behaving as the unsaved Gentiles, and are more than likely unsaved. If that does occur and the remarried spouse comes to realize he or she has done wrong, leaving that alleged second marriage is NOT committing divorce because this marriage was never a true marriage in the first place according to the Scriptures. God does not make two flesh covenants with the same person while both are alive. And that is what we see with king Herald's illegitimate marriage and John the Baptist’s reproof of it. He was unlawfully married to another man’s wife and John wanted him to end that marriage. The seriousness of this subject is noted in that John the Baptist lost his head over it. Adulteress women rage when a man stands for the truth and reproves their wickedness. The woman in the adulteress relationship called for John the Baptist's head.
4. The marriage bond is perfectly likened to the bond between Christ and the church (Eph 5), saints in the local church. As that bond between Christ and the church cannot be broken, so neither can the marriage bond be broken. Rom 7:1-3 does teach that as well; only death breaks the marriage bond. From the beginning it was like that (Gen 2:24-25).
Gods Word is truth (Jn 17:17).
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (Heb 13:4)